Strongholds and Serpents
by EZB
Summary: Heroes and Villains! Angels and Demons! Blessings and Curses! Tabletops and Dice! Welcome to the world of Strongholds and Serpents, a fantasy realm of nerdiness and rolling dice. The heroes Dipperthur the Wise, Soos of Mission Soos, The Red Phantom and Mabel (who has a really long name in game) must challenge the forces of darkness together! Can they hope to survive? Come find out.
1. Heroes at the Slab 'n Tab

The world is a dangerous place. It has always been dangerous. It continues to be dangerous. It will always be dangerous.

Many millions, if not billions, of souls live in the world of Yultiem, the realm of magic, monsters, and more. Most of these souls are your average farmer or peasant, dutifully living their lives quietly with a family they are proud to raise. That is a respectable and quaint style of living, but not that of the adventurer. The adventurer, or as they best and most brave and successful of the lot have been called, heroes.

They say the soul of the hero is a person who is dealt the dice of fate. This dice determines many things: their hate, their love, their very lives, and continues to roll against them every turn of their journey. The hero is born when that person refuses to give in and let fate tell them what they can and cannot do.

In such a powerful and scary realm of life, it can be dangerous.

This is why it is nice to be with someone you trust.

If you can afford it.

Far in the lands north of the capitals of the dense human cities of Reigion, Bealnor, and Wickensdale, a blizzard was blowing heavily. Beyond dense forests and the tackled foothills, somewhere where people of sensible nature tend to avoid, a horrible snow storm billowed and blow.

"Pffft," a shape in the storm blew a raspberry, "this is the worst possible thing. Ever."

"It's not so bad. We just need to find somewhere indoors," another shape slightly ahead of the first assured.

Pushing his way through the tall snow, easily up to his knees, a figure stood up, holding a hand to the unrelenting winds and snow blind landscape around him. He was a young enchanter; a type of wizard who specialized in the arts surrounding the magical properties of things, ranging from weapons to armor, minds to muscle, even the fate and destiny of the universe itself.

His brown hair poked roughly out from underneath a hood over his head, showing his equally brown eyes. Something dotted across his forehead, but without the stillness of his locks of hair, none could hope to make out the strange birthmark. Dark eyelids barely supported the tired gaze of the man as he scouted ahead. It didn't do him much good- the obscuring haze of the storm consumed everything.

"I don't even mind the cold!" the voice behind the young man protested as a hand grabbed forward and pulled herself closer, wiping snow from her eyes. Long brown hair also fell from this person's cloak. Identical brown eyes peered from the woman behind the enchanter, and she stabbed the ground with a staff, leaning on it with a wheeze. "But man this wind is messing my lungs up!"

She was a Druid- a speaker of the wilderness and teller of the kingdom untamed. With her skills she wove the natural elements to guide her actions and safeguard her through life while preserving the balance that the world needed. She was almost perfectly identical in appearance, but wore fur and skins, compared to the enchanter who slapped on softer, daintier cloths.

"Can't you do something about this... this storm?" Dipperthur the enchanter demanded to his sister, the Druid known as Magnanimously Magnificent Masterfully Malleably Mendable Mabel the fourth, esquire.

"Yeah, I'll just let us walk through like five gajillion miles of cold, wet weather, and then when you ask try to do something to stop it," Mabel the Fourth replied snarkily to her brother, who snorted and stepped ahead, "If I could have, I would have!"

"It better be not another thing with the balance of nature," he retorted over his shoulder as he shoved snow up into the air with kicks of his boot covered feet.

"It was vital the bear cub be let over that cold river!" Mabel said. "Otherwise we could have been dealing with a rabid bear mother on the loose."

"As opposed to what I'm dealing with here and now," Dipperthur replied as he stopped, and peered ahead. "Wait. I see something?"

"Is it a gateway?" Mabel demanded, and bowed under his cloak to see past him, "please tell me its a gateway to the town."

"No. It's a building I think," Dipperthur said quietly.

Barely a dark shape ahead of them, the two exchanged glances and moved ahead. The snow was already covering their tracks behind them as they trudged onward, digging a path onward towards what came to look like an inn. An inn surrounded by absolutely nothing.

"Odd place for a building," Dipperthur mentioned as he examined the place.

"You think there are people inside?" Mabel asked hopefully, "we may have magic, but this is cold levels I am not happy with."

"Cold levels?" Dipperthur turned to her, squinting in disapproval, "really. Cold levels," he turned and looked around the side of the building, hoping to get a clue if this was a safe place. The window shutters were closed, but he spotted a basement door on the side of the building. "Maybe we can get in through the backdoor?" he asked and turned for the corner he spotted it by.

"Or we can knock?" Mabel reminded him as he wandered off. Dipperthur paused, recalling the said action and sighed. With a contemplative nod, he turned back and cupped his arms under his elbows, keeping himself warm. Mabel leant close to the door and rapped her knuckles against the wood. "Hello?" she called sweetly.

No response came.

"Huh. Well, I'm going back door," Dipper turned and stomped through the snow.

"Dude, I just knocked," Mabel told him as he rounded the corner. No sooner had Dipperthur vanished from sight than the door slammed open, smashing into Mabel and tossing her into the snow. Without a chance to react, she disappeared behind almost two feet of accumulated frozen water.

"Yo?" someone asked from far away. Mabel was too stunned to answer, and too cold to reach her hands upwards, and as she began to move again, the doors slammed shut.

"Mabel!?" Dipperthur came running back around, frolicking in the snow to reach her, "are you okay?" he found her imprint, being coated with more insulting snow, and he slowly pulled her out. "C'mon, on your feet, druid."

"Ow," she groaned, massaging her chest and face, leaning on the staff. "Whoever was inside has a heck of a swing."

"Well... I bet you the door is unlocked, because the downstairs door is chained up," Dipperthur mentioned with agitation. "Might as well try this again."

Dipper pulled on the doorknob and pulled it open. A gust billowed past them into the interior as they stepped inside, where sounds of a crackling fire and the smells of soup, stew, and burning fire.

The building was simply furnished: wood of various miss-matched colors assembled the chairs and tables strewn about the room. A huge fireplace blazed nearby a large bar, where a well armored and tall man sat, just beginning to rest himself back onto a stool. Next to him a spear and shield lay against the empty seats.

In fact, as the twins let the door closed behind them, they noticed how empty the tavern was. Only a total of four figures could be counter, including a bartender, who sported two large dog ears atop her head, a robed human by a wall, who smiled happily at them and began to wave, and a cloaked figure in the back, holding a wooden pipe to their hidden face, smoking silently.

"Welcome to the Slab 'n Tab!" the half-dog bartender woman called to them, pulling herself around the large man in armor to speak to them, "would you like anything to eat or drink? We have warm stew and warm... mead. Not that you'd want cold mead on a day like this."

"Stew," the twins replied after a shared glance between them both. The bartended nodded with a grin and left them, turning for a swinging door for what they assumed was the kitchens.

Mabel looked around, using her druidic senses to peer about. They were not the only ones who used magic in this building she quickly gathered. The man closest to them, facing away and digging into a soup had some sort of magical trace about him, possibly a cleric or paladin- someone who worshipped the powers of light and things of holy nature. Then there was the man waving at her from the corner with a smile. He radiated magic, much to the point she knew he was absolutely a caster like Dipper was.

"Greetings!" he called as Mabel briefly made eye contact.

"Who's that?" Dipperthur asked Mabel out of the corner of his mouth.

"I dunno. I'm going to go find out," Mabel told him happily. Before Dipperthur had a chance to hold her, she left, bounding over in her fur armor and taking a chair noisily across the table of the still smiling man. "Hello! I'm Magnanimously Magnificent Masterfully Malleably Mendable Mabel the fourth, esquire! Pleased to meet you!" she declared and shot her hand out across the table.

"Hello Magnanimously Magnificent Masterfully Malleably Mendable Mabel the fourth, esquire," the man replied instantly as he gently shook her hand in their formal greeting. Mabel gaped at him.

"Wow. That's the first time anyone in the universe has, like, ever gotten my name right on the first try!" Mabel told him as she leaned in to congratulate him. This, however, was a mistake. Mabel the Druid gasped and pulled back, clutching her nose.

The man reeked. Sulfur, embalming fluid, possibly raw alcohol, and even worse, possibly rotting flesh seemed to emanate from him. Yet he grinned, and appeared perfectly groomed with his black hair and white teeth. Mabel eyed him as his smile faded, and she spotted something that was bad news. There was a tightly wrapped collection of human bones in his pocket.

This man was a necromancer; a magic user specializing in the use of death, decay, disease, and the enslavement of the undead to do his bidding.

"Are... you are okay?" the man asked as Mabel pulled herself as far away from him without standing away, almost rocking the chair off its feet.

"Yeah. Just, uh... stretching," she said.

"Stretching? Ah! A lovely idea!" The necromancer followed suit, but unlike Mabel put far too much energy into his leaning back and flew out of the chair, slamming himself onto the floor.

"OH!" Mabel watched him roll onto the ground with a laugh. While her first instinct was to rush over and help him, she still wanted to remain at distance. "Are you... okay?"

"Yes!" he called to her happily, stumbling back up and pulling up the chair with him, "nice and stretched out. I guess there's a reason I let Reginald do my work for me."

"Who?" Mabel asked.

"Reginald. He's a friend," the necromancer waved his hand into the air, and then leaned closer into the table, "so, Magnanimously Magnificent Masterfully Malleably Mendable Mabel the fourth, esquire, I am Ebon, Grave connoisseur and Easer of Spirits."

"Necromancer," Mabel hissed through her teeth forcibly.

"... excuse me?" the necromancer blinked as he stared at Mabel.

"You're a necromancer."

"Ah... no I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No, I'm not."

"You're totally a necromancer, dude," Mabel told him, and pointed to him, "you smell of death and embalming fluids, I detected magic on you the instant I walked into this room rivaling my brother over there who is an enchanter, and I see you carrying a roll of BONES in your pocket!" she declared. The Necromancer gulped and hurriedly pushed the bones deeper into his pocket. "So don't lie to me. I know you're a necromancer."

"Okay, okay," he held his hands before her, trying to calm her and lower her volume, "yes! Okay!" he hissed back in a whisper. "I... I do study necromantic arts. I admit it."

"Great. You people always stir up trouble," Mabel leaned back, crossing her arms.

"I take offense to that!" the necromancer Ebon pushed himself forward, pointing to her, "just because of my studies I am labeled as a monster! I have aided more towns that I can count with their problems relating to the undead, curses, and various other ailments past their expiration date!"

"...yeah?" Mabel asked, checking behind her to Dipperthur, who was glancing at her and the man named Ebon and then back into the kitchen.

"Yes! Reginald and I are contributors to the regional well-being, and it is biased, uneducated fools like you who quickly label people like me!" Ebon called out on her, and she grumbled.

"Okay, fine. Sorry," she mumbled back, her arms still tightly crossed.

"I mean, honestly, what do you have against Necromancers anyway? Can't be worse than what _I've_ got against other necromancers," Ebon asked her.

"Well, I'm sort of a Druid, for starters," Mabel informed him.

"...A what?"

"Druid."

"You're a druid."

"Yes."

"Keepers of nature and... natures distaste for... necromancy?" he asked with a clear frown.

"I admit it," Mabel shrugged.

"Ah," Ebon swallowed and pushed his chair slightly backwards, not being half as sly as Mabel was about it, "that's... good for you," he congratulated her with a stiff nod before reaching over to the wall behind him and rapping loudly.

"What's that about?" Mabel asked him, one of her eyes popping up as she studied him.

"Absolutely nothing," he assured her poorly.

The front door then swung open with a loud bang. All heads turned to face the newcomer. Wind whipped past it as it took a step inside. No eyes were present in its eye socket. Nor flesh or muscle or even cartilage. Only a few sparse pieces of armor and a simple leather cap tied around the base of its neck.

A skeleton, a hand on its sheithed sword, took a step into the room.

"BY THE POWERS! AN UNDEAD!"

The outcry came from the bartender, who had just returned with the stew and mead. She dropped all contents on her held tray as she, within a single moment drew her sword, tossed it into the air, caught it again, and then threw it into the forehead of the skeleton.

The skeleton stumbled back and fell over, a sword jutting out of its snow-buried skull.

"NO!" Ebon shouted as he stood up, "REGINALD!"

Mabel was shoved out of the way by him.

Dipperthur and the larger, armored man approached the skeleton, who seemed dazed and confused. The armored man lifted his spear past the skeletal ribcage and poked the chin.

"Hey, dude, you going to start trouble?" he asked.

"WAIT! STOP!" The Necromancer pushed past them, extending his arms to his side. "Don't hurt him! He's under my protection! He's just my skeleton!"

"Your skeleton!?" The bartender asked, appearing between the wary Dipperthur and the confused soldier-looking man.

"Yes! I watch out for him and he watches out for me!" the necromancer pushed them both away, "now step back! While I make sure you didn't kill him!"

"You can't really kill... undead," Dipper mentioned aloud, and was entirely ignored by the necromancer, who pulled up his skeleton comrade.

"Reginald, are you well?" he asked the skeleton. The head of the body turned, and slapped his master in the face with the handle of the crude iron sword. "Ow. I see you are well despite having a new hole between your eyes," Ebon mentioned and grasped the sword and removed it quickly. Turning with an angered gaze at the three behind him, he spoke, "he didn't even move to attack!"

"He's undead!" the bartender shouted, "undead are the scourge upon these lands! You can't expect me to just let one idly step into my tavern without a little warning!?"

"THOSE... scourge out there," the necromancer pointed out into the wilderness, "are NOT skeletons! They are something else! I intend to discover what, but I assure you, _Reginald_ and _I_ are not part of that... scheme!"

"What makes you think we can trust you?" Dipperthur asked, finally gaining the attention of the necromancer.

"Well Dipper," the man in armor turned and looked at Dipperthur the Wise, "I don't think Stan made Yuki a villain. Otherwise, wouldn't he have helped him with the campaign. Dipper, the bartender, and the necromancer stared at the spoken soldier. "What, dudes?"

* * *

><p>"SOOS!"<p>

"What?" Soos asked, looking around the table in the living room.

"You have to talk in character!" Dipper told him from across the table.

"I- wait, so, like the way Yuki talks?" Soos asked, looking to his left, where the plant-headed alien sat.

"I wouldn't advise such conduct," Uki-Dohth, the Xabvi alien, former scientist, assured Soos. "As I seem to speak in such tense to suggest that you all-"

"Dipper, what is the problem? Grunkle Stan groaned, interrupting the alien and putting a hand to his glasses covered eyes.

There were six people sitting in the Gravity Falls Mystery Manor building living room. A large table from the kitchen had been moved into the warmer adjacent room.

Several days ago, Dipper and Mabel had invited Uki-Dohth to live with their uncle as, essentially, an indentured servant. Little to no pay was given to him, but he had a free place to live with Grunkle Stan as long as he worked even half as much as Wendy did. Without customers present, as the building was not quite open for tourism due to finishing construction of the building, they were without anything to do.

No strange things had happened. No monsters needed to be talked down or defeated. So, after several days, The twins re-engaged in a game they introduced to Wendy and Soos- Strongholds and Serpents.

Stan, upon discovering the game, relented from his usual grumpy self. He and his brother had played many a game of 'SnS' as he called it. He opted to be the Stronghold Lord, and let the other five play in his old campaign with his brother, at least before their game was cursed by an angry witch, and they put it away for good.

"People started acting out of character," Dipper huffed.

"Dude," Mabel scoured at her brother, "is it really such a big problem?"

"It's a _role_-playing game!" Dipper declared, "we play _roles_! So yes! It is a big problem!"

"Aw man, I didn't want to ruin anything," Soos admitted, crestfallen, and self-consciously adjusting his hat. Dipper sighed and corrected his attitude.

"Look, Soos, I know last time we played this," Dipper turned to his friend, who was nervously playing with his tiny figurine, "we are, you know, meeting for the first time?"

"Ah... oh. Oh. I get it," Soos sunk a little into his chair with shame.

"That, and you can't call us by our actual name in-game," Dipper said, "I mean, I'm Dipperthur. Mabel... well, Mabel is Mabel, and Yuki is Ebon." Wendy cleared her throat, and Dipper nodded. "And Red Phantom over here."

"I'm also Soos," Soos pointed out.

"Okay, just, you know, stay in the world setting?" Dipper asked in frustration of his friend, who nodded.

"You got it, dude."

"Okay, now if Dipper is done with his super-nerd rage, "Grunkle Stan rolled his eyes and looked to them, "does anyone else need to check for magic or anything? Maybe cast something random? Or can I continue narrating?"

"I'm in my corner still?" Wendy asked, entirely at ease.

"Ah-yup," Grunkle Stan nodded.

"I'm good," she folded her arms past the back of her head.

"Now... back to Dipper," Grunkle Stan looked to his grand-nephew, "you just said-"

* * *

><p>"What makes you think we can trust you?" Dipperthur asked, finally gaining the attention of the necromancer.<p>

"Indeed," Soos added, pointing the spear at the necromancer, who eyed it wearily, "how do we trust you, man?"

"Ah-"

Someone cleared their throat. Stepping from the shadows, the person with a pipe approached, their head masked by a well worn cloak. Green and silver lining was bathed in the dim light of the open door as a ranger, clearly identifiable with long bow and arrows stepped out, and looked at the group. The person did not remove the pip, instead, keeping it aloft in the grip of their teeth. Then they spoke.

"I know of the plague on these lands," the woman under the cloak said, "and I know of the wandering necromancer. He has been known to ease many undead threats with his abilities."

"Who are you?" Dipperthur turned away from Ebon, who equally turned with Soos to gaze upon this mysterious figure. The skeleton, Reginald, also poked his head around his master, staring at the cloaked woman.

"I go by many names. I am known for my recent title as..." the woman lowered her head, displaying a fair, freckled face, bright green eyes, and fiery red hair that fell out of her cloak, "The Red Phantom."

"Who?" Everyone but the barkeep asked.

"Seriously?" The Red Phantom sighed, slapping her hands against her hips, "none of you have heard of me before? Scourge of evil? One-shot wonder? Like, really cool red headed half-elf?"

"Well, I can't disagree with that," Dipperthur coined in with a tiny grin, but then corrected his gaze, "but I don't know the re-"

"I do," the barkeep pushed past Dipper, almost knocking him over, "you're the archer who out-shot the entire local garrison! Won you that cloak!"

"It did," the phantom grinned and pointed to the necromancer, "he is not a threat. If he is here, he is looking for something dangerous to stop."

"Well... thank you, Red Phantom," Ebon bowed his head gently. When he checked behind him, he noticed Reginald the Skeleton had not followed suit. "Bow, you fool," he scolded the skeleton, who jostled and then bowed as well.

"We can trust her?" Dipperthur asked the barkeep.

"Oh yes. A great proponent for banishing all sources of evil," the dog ears perked up as she said this, clearly a great fan of the woman smoking her pipe before them.

"Well, Red Phantom," Dipperthur approached her, "do you have a name we can use?"

"Red will do," the Red Phantom turned and eyed Mabel, who stared at the group from the side, "I've been listening in on you all since you've arrived."

"Really?" Mabel blinked in shock.

"Yes," the phantom looked around to the four others, and then to the barkeep, "I think we'll want some stew and mead, please."

"Oh! Blasted all!" the barkeep turned and ran for the mess on the floor, and began to mop it up hastily. "I'll bring out some more for you all! Just don't break anything else!" she scolded them as she ran into the room behind her, towards the kitchens.

"Easy for her to say," Ebon muttered, rubbing down Reginald's face, scraping off a few loose chunks of bone from his wounded-face. "Didn't have a sword thrown at her friend."

"Well dudes," Soos asked around, "maybe we should get one table?"

"Party time!" Mabel cheered.

"No, discussion time," Dipperthur told his sister, who groaned in disappointment, but followed with the four others as they clamored to a table and pulled over chairs for them all to sit. Once Soos joined them positioning his shield and spear next to him, he excitedly looked to one another.

"So then," Soos said, "I think I'm the only one who hasn't introduced himself. I'm Soos!" he pointed a thumb to himself, "of mission Soos!"

"Soos of-"

"Mission Soos?" Dipper started and Mabel finished.

"Yeah, you got it!" the man in thick armor told them eagerly. "I'm a new paladin, fresh of the training grounds, ready to purge the world of darkness and-"

"Oh great," Ebon groaned and his head fell to the table, putting hands to rest on him, "just kill me now."

"Huh?" Soos asked.

"I'm on my left," one of Ebon's hands pointed over and he directed to Mabel, "I have a druid, worshiper of natural forces, and in front of me," he pointed ahead, still not raising his head to look, "I am joined by a paladin, the hunters of evil."

"Well, are you evil?" Soos asked easily to the necromancer.

"No!" he yelled as his head shot up, "why do I have to keep telling people that!?"

"Well, then as long as you aren't killing people for, uh, bodies," Soos told him, "then we're okay."

"...really?" Ebon asked with a few blinks of his eye.

"Oh yeah dude. Totally cool. Again," Soos held his gauntleted hand up, a finger pointing to the ceiling, "only one rule is- don't kill innocent people."

"Then... I guess we'll get along," Ebon rose up from his perpetual gloomy state. Looking between them all, he cleared his throat, "my only rule is this: waste not."

"Waste not?" Mabel asked.

"Humans bury a lot of useful things to the living to honor the dead. Look," Ebon leaned over to her as she tolled her eyes, "don't get me started on it! Golden rings, pearl necklaces, enchanted shields! All sorts of stuff we, as living human beings and elves and anyone, need to survive! The dead don't care what they are buried with! Unless with specific instruction!"

"So, when you die, you want to be buried naked?" Dipperthur asked pointedly.

"Yes," Ebon nodded instantly.

"Oh. Okay, I guess," Dipperthur looked around, checking in to see if he was the only one feeling gross by that idea.

"Tell me, Necromancer wanderer Ebon," The Red Phantom asked to Ebon, "what brings you to these lands?"

The necromancer looked between them all, and then to Reginald, who stood behind him. The skeleton barely looked down to register the silent communication they had, and then man reached inside his cloak. Within a firm gripped hand he removed a small jar. Black, thick, gory liquid stuck around it like a thick glue.

"This is what brought me here," he told them as he placed it onto the table. Dipperthur reached out to touch it, but Ebon held out his hand, "do not open the jar."

"Okay, I won't," Dipperthur nodded as he lifted it up, and felt his hand long the side. "What... what the heck is this!?"

"You tell me," Ebon told him. The other three stared between the two.

"Yo, Dippin'-sauce," Mabel leaned over to her brother, across the table, "wassit?"

"I can't tell. It's... flesh. Some sort of bile and flesh? But..." Dipperthur looked to Ebon, uncertainty flooding his eyes, "there is some sort of magic imbued into it, isn't there?"

"Yes," Ebon nodded, holding the jar again, retrieving it from Dipper. "I've been all across the world, fighting off undead. I've seen a few nasty things, even encountered a Lich once. This? This isn't like anything I've seen before."

"Why is that?" The Red Phantom asked, "what kind of powers does it contain?"

"This? Nothing," Ebon sloshed the jar around, displaying the horrible contents with motion," but what this came from was the scary bit."

"What do you mean?" Soos asked, "a not normal type of undead?"

"Yeah. You could say that," Ebon nodded as he placed the jar back onto the table. "I have classified approximately sixty seven types of undead in my journeys. Every single one of them was either a class easily identifiable or a subclass of another. These things... I cannot describe so easily. They mold their bodies like weapons, somehow becoming weapon like themselves."

"Wait... they bend their bodies into weapons?" Mabel demanded, repulsed by the idea. Dipperthur pondered across the table, scratching the faint hairs on his chin, "Dipper? You got anything?"

"Dipper-thur, please Mabel," Dipperthur scolded her.

"Fine. Say my entire name, and I'll call you Dipper-thur."

"I... that's not fair," Dipperthur complained.

"Sorry, Dipper? You say something? I thought I was talking to a man named Dipper-thur, but he can't say my name," Mabel craned her head over the table, cupping a hand to her ear. He replied by swatting the top of her head. "Ow," she pulled back, scowling and rubbing her injured scalp.

"Well dudes," Soos shuffled a bit closer, "I think this is a good opportunity for the five of us."

"Opportunity?" The Red Phantom repeated.

"Yeah! Think about it," Soos looked to each of them, staring with Mabel, "you want to balance nature and powers and stuff, and this could totally be upsetting the forces of the wild, right?"

"Hmm... yeah, it looks gross enough to do that," Mabel agreed as she looked to the jar.

"Miss Phantom-"

"Call me Red," the ranger told Soos.

"Red, you're totally about fame and fortune. What if people discovered you were behind stopping these things? They'd call you 'dead-bane' or whatever. Cool, right?"

"Work on a title," The Red Phantom told him, "but you've sold me for now."

"Dipper, you- oh, sorry," Soos corrected himself with a glare from the enchanter, "Dipperthur, you're all about studying magical things, right? Like, I assume that's your thing?"

"I... can't disagree with that," Dipperthur shrugged.

"So if we find out the source of this, it could be a huge breakthrough for magic users against threats like this!" Soos turned to the Necromancer, "and you want this to stop, right?"

"Yes, yes I do," Ebon nodded strongly, "whoever is behind this is causing a bad name for my study and credence. I prefer people know I am the man responsible for cleaning the mess, not starting one."

"Then just by ending this, you totally got a way to solve this," Soos nodded, "and as for me? This is sort of my sign."

"Your sign?" Mabel asked.

"I needed a sign, from my god," Soos pointed up to the ceiling, "that told me it was my time to protect the innocent, uphold good in the world and vanquish evil!"

"Oh," Mabel nodded and grinned, "well-"

Behind them was a loud scream. The five whipped their heads around and saw two people fly out of the kitchens, one after another. The bartender was being throttled by what appeared to be the chef, in appropriate garb and easily two and a half feet taller than her. He slammed her into the first table, where she almost fell limp once her back collided against wood. The chef's beefy hands crushed around the neck, only a twig compared to the massive body of the fat man attacking her. The five shouted, and then the chef opened his mouth.

Thick, viscous ooze poured out, dribbling onto the floor as he choked the life out of the woman before him.

* * *

><p>Welcome, friends new and old. I am your Dungeon master- err, the writer of this story, EZB. I come to you as a benevolent and fair Stronghold Lord, to guide you and your imagination through the vestiges of this world of fantasy. Be warned- many a time I will look deep into the game's functions and pursuits of dorkiness and nerddome, but if you have come here for fun and good times, you will enjoy this story.<p>

Now, dropping that silliness, HEY GUYS! So, this story will be based of the other Gravity Falls story I'm writing, called 'Return to Gravity Falls'. There was an 'episode' in the story based off Dungeons and Dragons, and well, here we are with a spin off. This story also includes the recent permanent OC to the gang- Uki-Dohth, or Yuki for short. If you really want to understand him and the background to what is going on, I HIGHLY suggest you go through Return to Gravity Falls and catch up.

Also, for those of you who scratch your head going "Wow, this sounds... really familiar" it probably is. I'm heavily borrowing a campaign I recently played a bit through, but twisting it for my purposes. Sorry out there, to my friend Sam! You're a kick-ass DM!

For my friends who ALREADY came from there, this will be between seasons one and two. So technically, the events happening in here in the 'real world' are canon. Yes, Yuki learned how to play SnS really quickly. Deal with it- he's an alien scientist for Petes sake. He's smart.

Second to last thing to let you guys know- this story will have READER PARTICIPATION! That's right: when the characters have a choice of action, the readers will get to say what they do. All you have to do is review for me (hahahaha clever ploy, no?) and let me know which option you favor. May the majority rule!

And now, a final thank you to my friend theEquestrianIdiot2.0, who is essentially my beta/idea bouncer. Without him, things would be seriously more boring. So give him a thanks and check out his stories! THEY ARE GOOD. SO GOOD.

Okay, that's all for my first chapter! Thank you for reading, and I'll see you guys next- (A huge minotaur falls from the SKY and crushes EZB and his chair under his body. With a little check under his rear, the minotaur confirms that EZB is, in fact, perished. He then gets on the computer and begins to type randomly'gnidbg;sb;gblsudbvuxdb)


	2. To Ruin A Perfectly Good Bar

"Holy toletos!" Soos shouted as he and the group by the table stood up, "Hey! You!" he called to the massive man, "stop that!"

"What the heck is going on?" Mabel shouted, moving closer, but keeping her distance.

"She's being choked!" Ebon shouted. Reginald the skeleton quickly took a defensive stance, drawing his sword and holding it out before him, shielding his master. "Someone do something!" Somewhere distantly, a long, pronounced horn blew in the distance.

"What?" Dipperthur demanded of the necromancer, the woman still be choked, "if I cast a spell, I could hurt her too! Mabel," Dipperthur turned to his sister, who spun to him, "cast entagling roots or something!"

"I can't do that! They could crush her too!" she declared, "and I can't just heal her! I need to be close enough to touch her! Soos?" Mabel cried, drawing the attention of the panicking paladin.

"They never told me what to do about this sort of situation!" Soos shouted, padding his face with his gauntlet worn gloves, "I can't just blast him with light! He could explode into hot goop or-"

Between them all, a figure leapt onto the table. She drew her longbow almost instantly, readied a shot, and let loose her grip on her arrow. The large projectile soared through the air and then-

* * *

><p>"Wait... seriously Wendy?" Dipper asked, turning to Wendy.<p>

"Yeah dude," Wendy nodded to him, and smacked her fists together, "balls to the walls. Quickdraw, shoot."

"You could hit her," Dipper explained, pointing to the two tiny figurines on the table, where an crude outline of the tavern the adventurers was in lay, "if you miss you could accidentally kill her."

"And we need her, don't we?" Mabel asked, and turned to Grunkle Stan, who had taken the chance to read into the newspaper as they discussed among themselves.

"Oh sure," he nodded uncaringly, "very important. Important enough for you four to run around like a chicken with it's head cut off while she's had her head nearly ripped off," he scolded them, Yuki shamefully bowing his head. Soos scratched at his cap, patting Yuki on the back.

"Hey, don't worry about it dude," Soos told him, "at least you aren't running away."

"Never come a chance I would flee whilst my friends did battle," Yuki told him bravely, "for my character may not be strong, but his... 'hit points' are high!"

"We've got to give you another lesson in speaking like a normal human being," Grunkle Stan shook his head after hearing the aliens words.

"Apologies," Yuki cringed.

"Why do you have so many hitpoints?" Mabel looked over the table, peering into his character sheet, "you've got almost double Dippers hit points!"

"Because, aside from Soos, he's the only one who figured to put his higher rolls onto health," Grunkle Stan told her, "so that made him, ironically, the person with the second highest health points."

"The necromancer?" Wendy chortled, "that's kinda funny."

"At least you can hold your own for a bit," Dipper shrugged, "maybe stand there and take a hit?"

"I would prefer not," Yuki looked to his character sheet, "as I cannot retain health should it be lost. Mabel could heal, but valuable spells per day-"

"Can we continue?" Grunkle Stan looked around the table, folding away the newspaper and putting it under his seat. The gang exchanged looks, and Wendy nodded and spoke up.

"So, I shoot the sucker. In the head." Grunkle Stan nodded, and behind a small cardboard wall, he rolled several dice.

"It's a good shot," he informed her.

* * *

><p>The large projectile soared through the air and then slammed into the side of the huge chef's head, protruding out the other side of the skull. The huge lumbering man barely noticed the injury, his reaction being a collection of gargles and snarls as he continued to push down on the woman he was choking, who's face was growing blue.<p>

"More than enough cue for me," Soos decided. He lifted his shield to be in front of him, and charged. The heavy footsteps he took shook the floor as he ran ahead, and slammed his entire weight onto the huge aggressor, tower shield first. While the angered and addled chef's grip did let go, the momentum of his twist and turn threw the barkeep into the air and into Dipperthur, who did little to prepare himself for the incoming body.

Now the chef was onto Soos, clawing at him, trying to pull away his heft shield. Soos yelped and pushed back, but the strength of the man was as impressive as it was unending.

"Could use some help!" Soos called to the others.

"Have no fear, Mabel is here!" Mabel cried out, and clapped her hands to the floor. From the wooden floorboards, living roots began to crawl out and upwards, snaking their way around the form of the chef. Too busy attacking Soos, he didn't notice their grip on his entire lower body until it was too late, pulling and pinning him to the spot as Soos pulled away.

"You done hurting people!?" Soos demanded of the chef, who angrily stared at him. His mouth opened wider, and more of the black ooze fell out. "Eugh!"

Then he roared. The monstrous man bellowed like a wounded beast, shaking the air with a tidal effect in the air. Dipper, still on the floor clapped his hands to his ears as well did Mabel. As soon as she let her hands lift from the floor, the roots began to wilt. The Red Phantom, spun around, crying out, holding her hands to her head. Soos, Ebon, and Reginald were the only ones left unaffected by the long howl.

"Reginald," Ebon pointed to the chef, "shut him up!"

The Skeleton lumbered forward quickly, it's sword at the ready. The chef noticed the coming attacker too late. The skeleton's bones rattled as it swiped with its sword. The screaming came to a sudden stop. Blood and black ooze splattered around as the chef's head was entirely severed from the neck up. The chef, now headless, turned to the skeleton, who seemed aware of the danger present.

"_Blast of Weakness_!" Ebon roared, thrusting his hand forward. A blast of green light, tipped with a dark ball of energy, slammed into the chest of the chef, who had raised its fist to slam them onto the backing up skeleton. Black ooze spilled out of the severed neck, spilling around to the room as the body stumbled backwards, but still upright. "Reg, back away!" Ebon cried, and the skeleton took a few more steps back, his sword still at the ready.

"Guys!" Dipperthur cried. He had just lifted up the barkeep and made sure she was still breathing before turning to the monster, and pointed to it, "_Mark of Frailty_!" A bolt of red shaded lightning shot from his finger and struck the chef dead in the chest. Red runes began to form over his body in specific areas; on his shoulders, by the knees, by the base of his spine. "Those are his weak spots! It you hit them now, he'll take double damage!"

"Gotcha," The Red Phantom quietly said, readying another arrow. Aiming low, she let the fletching fly past her face. The arrow struck into the knee cap with a sickening squelch. But that wasn't the extent of the damage. The Rune sizzled and burned after the arrow stuck inside, lighting the monster on fire.

"Take this, dude!" Soos cried, as he lunged forward with his spear. His aim was true, and it struck into the back of the monsters spine. The spear pierced into the thick back, but that wasn't the extent of the damage. The rune glowed bright and whined a high pitch howl before disappearing.

The entire front section of the chef exploded over Reginald. Black goop and red flesh streamed onto the skeleton, who stumbled back and fell over. This offensive smell material was sizzling, and burning away at the wood, and the skeleton was covered in it.

"Reggie!" Ebon shouted, ripping off a table cloth and running to his comrade.

"This thing still isn't dead!?" Dipperthur shouted.

Indeed, the monstrous chef hadn't died yet. With a shattered knee, a sliced off head, and his midsection entirely destroyed, it was still animated and angry. Mabel stood up, and clapped her hands together, her eyes glowing as she mumbled.

"Soos," she told the paladin," pull it to be in front of that fire," she told him as she clutched her staff and gave it an impressive twirl.

"You got it dawg," he told her. With a grunt, he pulled his spear with one hand, and pulled the undead creature by the empty hole in its center over to be before the flame. Mabel then roared, and with her eyes glowing bright, she swung her staff. Again and again she hit and slapped at the runes still visible on the body, causing more and more fire to erupt onto the undead flesh. After all the remaining runes had been struck, she stuck her staff behind her, and pushed on it, pushing herself forward and into a powerful kick.

Her foot landed on the chest of the monster, pushing it backwards. Soos yanked out his spear just in time for the former chef to stumble backwards and trip on the edge of the fireplace. It was wide enough for his entire figure to fall in, and he did so. The large logs spewed out ashes and flames as the man began to twitch and spasm, grasping around himself for leverage.

"Die, damn you," Dipperthur growled as they watched it twist and turn in the fire. Reginald has just been pulled from the corrosive black material, Ebon having wiped off the dangerous goop. The entire gang gasped- the chef, now entire long fire, was pulling itself from the flames.

"STAY DOWN!" the voice of the barkeep roared. She had stumbled up, grasped a large stool from the bar and charged. With a magnificent swing, the woman shattered the entire stool on the chest of the monster, exploding wood around her and knocking back the chef into the back of the fireplace. Tossing the remaining legs of the stool into the fire, she turned away form the panicking undead behind her, dusting her hands. She looked worse for wear, but was on her feet. "You're fired," she mumbled as she walked away from the burning remains. The body finally stopped twitching and fell, burning away with the embers.

"Oh come on," Dipperthur slapped his face with a hand as Soos chuckled, "was the pun totally necessary?"

"Excuse me?" the bartender asked, placing her hands on the table the Red Phantom had just leapt off of, "what pun?"

"You know... 'you're fired'?" Dipperthur repeated her words to her.

"I do not understand either," Ebon stated as he helped up his skeleton friend.

"Well, of course you wouldn't," Dipperthur shook his head at Ebon, "but you," he turned back to the barkeep, "you know... he's on fire? And you just ended him?"

"... oh," the barkeep smiled to herself, exposing a cluster of sharp teeth, "well, I suppose that was sort of clever, wasn't it?"

"I laughed," Soos admitted.

"Thank you, Soos," Dipperthur rolled his eyes, and turned to the others. "We're all good, right?"

"We're good," Ebon nodded.

"I'm fine. Just a little amped from all the butt I just kicked!" Mabel punched the air ahead of her with her staff, but forgot its placement and accidentally slapped the back of her head. "Ouch! Buttersquash it all!"

"Red?" Dipperthur turned to the redheaded ranger.

"Where is the head?" The Red Phantom asked.

She had been around in her spot for a few seconds, scouring the floor with her sharp eyes. Dipperthur joined her after a moment, turning to the spot he was certain he had seen the head land and roll to. Surprisingly, there was no head. Not even a trace of it. The Red Phantom pulled out another arrow and stepped away, walking towards the kitchen.

"Hey, wait, Red," Dipperthur called out, but then Ebon grasped his shoulder. "What?" he whipped around and demanded as the ranger faded into the kitchen. His frustration fell away when he saw the look on the Necromancer's face. "What is it?"

"I can sense undead when I wish," he told Dipperthur, and then he turned to the others, "I always can sense one, Reginald. But... I now sense six."

"Six... undead?" Mabel gulped.

The door slammed open, and the five figures still in the room spun around. There was a figure standing there, looking somewhat drugged and limp. His posture was bent over, his head crooked as he stared at them blankly. A faint trail of black ooze dribbled from his lips.

"They're giving off the same magical aura that the chef did," Ebon told Dipperthur.

"I can feel it too," the enchanter admitted, "more of these guys," he told Mabel and Soos. The cluster in the room tightened up, taking formation, with Soos and Reginald in the front and the casters in the back. The barkeep took the sides with Mabel, who both could hold their own if need be.

"Okay, so if it's just one more of these guys," Mabel told them, "we can throw him into the fire and cook him like we did the chef, right?"

As Dipperthur was about to agree, a window exploded by the corner where the Red Phantom had been. The wooden shutters had been torn through as well, glass falling into the room as a similarly limp man clawed his way into the room, holding a farmer's scythe in his hand. Standing up from the glass, his face was just as empty of emotion as the first, and more black ooze fell from his open mouth.

Another window, and another window. Three more windows broke as men, all in appearance to resemble farmers climbed their way into the room, staring at the group by the end of the bar and by the fireplace.

"Guys! I got something in here!" The Red Phantom cried from the kitchens.

"WE'VE GOT SOMETHING OUT HERE!" Dipperthur cried out. Then the five men started shambling closer.

"Okay, not to add bad news," Ebon added as they watched them growing closer, "but I sense something else that's a heck of a lot more evil running over to us. It'll be here in a few moments."

"All in favor of running the heck away?!" Soos called to the group. The vote was unanimous.

"Aye!"

The entire group turned and ran for the kitchens, fleeing from the bar quickly. The Bartender turned back as they passed through the doors and pushed over a heavy table, hoping to keep the doors shut for a time longer.

"We need to leave," Dipperthur told the Red Phantom. He noticed her gaze, glued by a particular corner of the room. When he turned to look, he shrieked.

"What!?" Mabel turned around from the doors and also gasped. "Ew! No! That's so wrong!"

The head of the chef had, from it's open wounds by the neck, grown small tentacles out of veins, and pulled itself into a corner. Black ooze was trickling from it's ears and eyes. Soos shook his head once, and lifted his hand. Bright golden light shot from his hand and struck the head. There wasn't a chance for the head to react: it exploded into fiery bits by the corner.

"Well that was horrible," Soos noted.

Something slammed into the doors outside, and the gang turned. They were at the door, slamming their fists to break open the barricaded doors. Dense groans and snarls emanated from behind the bending doors.

"It can still get a whole lot more horrible," the barkeep told them, and she moved next to a cabinet next to spices and bags of potatoes. From the floor she opened a locked secret door. "Inside!" she waved them to follow, and they did so, looking back as the undead men started to break down the wood.

The five clambered in, and the barkeep closed the secret door behind them. She turned away and grasped a lantern next to them on a collection of crates. Before their eyes could adjust to the darkness, she had the oil lantern flickering soft, orange light. The basement was dark, damp, and had a short ceiling height, causing Soos more problems than others.

"Great, so now we're underground and those things are out there," Dipperthur stated, counting the heads of his accomplishes.

"There is a way out, right?" Mabel turned to the barkeep expectantly, who was pushing past her and Dipperthur.

"There sure is," she noted, pointing to a pair of locked doors as she felt her pockets," that leads out to the side. Should be good enough of an escape route for them not to follow-"

"Oh now," Ebon gasped loudly, catching the attention of those downstairs.

"What?" The Red Phantom turned to him.

Horrible, wailing, shrieking, unearthly, something howled from just inside the home. What could have been described as nails or talons punching against the wood thumped from outside the basement door. Those nearest, Soos and the Red Phantom, backed away cautiously.

"What is it?" Mabel asked Ebon.

"I don't know, but we shouldn't stick around to discover what," Ebon shouted as he knocked over a barrel by accident. The top spilled out, and copious amounts of ale spilled around the feet of Soos, who gasped and lifted his feet.

"Whoa," the paladin turned to the apologetic looking necromancer, "careful."

"Wait," Dipperthur stared at the turned over barrel, and to its several counterparts filling the room. "Hey, what's your name?" he asked to the dog-eared woman.

"Kayla."

"Kayla, are these all filled with alcohol?" the enchanter asked, pointing around him.

"Yes? Why?" she worriedly asked.

"Because we need to burn this building down and get out of here," Dipperthur told her, grasping the oil lantern from the woman's grasp.

"NO!" she cried back, yanking the lantern into her hands again, "this is my only home! I've spent my life building up to a place like this, and I won't lose it to a bunch of rot-heads!"

"You'd rather die than start over?" Dipperthur told her. Something heavy and sharp pounded into the basement doors, catching their attention.

"I..." Kayla the barkeep looked pained as she stared around her. They were all waiting on her words, and she groaned loudly. "You think you can bash open the outside doors, big guy?" she turned to Soos.

"One moment," Ebon turned, passing Soos as he nodded. The necromancer place his hands on the door, and nodded. "No more undead await us outside."

"Then bust us out," Kayla told the large paladin. All it took was one swing with his spear, and the old metal chains were sliced away. As the twins exited quickly, the barkeep shoved over another barrel of alcohol onto the floor, spilling its contents. Something stabbed into the door again, splintering wood down nearby Kayla. "Goodbye investments," she mumbled as she followed the necromancer and skeleton out, and at the top of the stairs, turned and threw down the lantern onto the ground, shattering the glass around the floor. Instantly a huge fire came to life and spread around the floor, eating away the alcohol and then catching onto the dry wooden barrels around them.

"You're burning the building to the ground!?" The Red Phantom turned to Kayla as the group of adventurers clustered in the cold snow outside.

"I don't take chances with undead!" she shouted as a fireball burst from behind her. Reginald the skeleton crossed his arms and glared at her. "Sorry," she added at the eyeless stares.

"None taken," Ebon moodily answered for his friend.

"So, unless we want to freeze to death, we probably should-" Dipperthur started.

More unearthly screams roared from behind them. The entire group turned as the snow raged on around them, and they stared as the climbing fires caught the entire building ablaze. Yet their attention was that to the screams now emanating from deeper within the burning building. Pain, anguish, but something else was in those screams. Something angry. Not dead yet, and getting closer.

"Okay, we run!" The Red Phantom shouted, and she pointed northward, waving them to follow. The seven each made their own noises of fright and started running through the snow. This was much easier said than done, as only Mabel and the Red Phantom seemed capable of trudging through the snow at a quick pace, with exception to Reginald, who had little to nothing to pushing through the cold.

A loud, horrible raspy snarly called their attention, and they all paused. There, standing in one of the windows of the blazing building stood a man. His eyes were as empty and hollow as those they had all seen before. The farm snarled and lifted a finger and pointed to them.

"Fleeeeing," it growled loudly.

The Red Phantom was quick to react. A shot that was impressive for any sniper, she let her arrow loose and hit her mark- sticking the end of her arrow deep in the undead's skull between the eyes.

"Nice!" Dipperthur congratulated her as the undead man slumped forward and fell through the fires below him out the window, and crashed into the snow. Something on the far end of the tavern, where the basement entrance was located, exploded out and spilled fire all into the snow, and it was silently decided that it would be better to run and flee.

Their footsteps crunched and flattened snow as they ran away from the growing distance building. The storm around them however was still growing heavy and hard. The thought of seeing further than twenty feet ahead of them was an idea that could be mocked. Yet they continued to push north.

"Why are we going north again?" Dipperthur called aloud.

"Because there's a port village in the north!" Kayla shouted above the howling wind, "and that means we can get help or get out of here!"

"Quiet!" Wendy hissed at them, whipping around to stare behind them.

"What? Like anything could hear us over the crazy wind, dude," Soos said as he caught up, breathing heavily. The Red Phantom shook her head and looked further past them, half-elvish eyes peering.

"It spotted us," she told them quietly.

"Whoa!" Soos shouted.

He raised his huge shield just in the nick of time. A tendril with a scythe-like bone appendage had lashed out and made to cut at Ebon's head, who stumbled back and fell away. Soos, stabbing the snow with his spear, reached out and grasped the long tentacle, just as it tried to recall back.

"Got it!" The Red Phantom shouted and readied another arrow.

"Wait!" Dipperthur told her, "Let me cast something on it!" she held her arrow, watching him stroke the bow with his hands, small cascading energies flowing like rivers into the polished material.

"_Flare_!" Mabel declared and toss her hand forward, as if she were tossing something. A ball of burning bright white light was thrown out into the storm. The monster was illuminated as the ball struck it. What could once have been human was torn and mutilated and mutated to appear as a fleshy pedestal. The legs had been split below the knees, the separate sections split and acting like stands to support the twisted abomination. The chest cavity had been split open and dangled it's distended organs about as a horrible display of undead experimentation. The tendril seemed to have originated from the mouth, as the tentacle Soos held was being tugged from the warped mouth, which just resembled a circular hole with mismatched teeth around it.

"I really wish I hadn't done that," Mabel said, appearing to feel sick at it's sight.

"Dipper," Ebon approached the enchanter.

"Dipper-thur," Dipperthur corrected him.

"Dipperthur," Ebon tried again, "you enchanted the arrow?"

"Yes."

"How many enchantments can fit onto it?" Ebon asked again.

"Uh... two? Maybe three if they're low-level spells-"

"_Harm Undead_!" Ebon placed his hand on the bow, and sickly blue energy traced the lines of the wooden curvature and invaded the wooden shaft of the arrow. "Whatever you need now, it's got a bonus against them."

"_Touch of Flame_!" Dipper cast onto the arrow, "Red, go for it!"

The ranger nodded and released her grip once again. The entire part watched, the arrow soaring to its mark as the beast continued to try prying itself from Soos's grasp.

The arrow missed.

"What?!" Dipperthur rounded on the ranger, who's eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped. "You missed?"

"I missed," she said weakly, "I never miss."

"Screw this," Kayla growled, as she took out a sword from her belt, and raced forward.

"Reginald!" Ebon pointed and after Kayla, and the skeleton nodded, and began to follow.

"FOR MISSION SOOS!" The paladin roared, shocking the entire group. With a mighty yank of his arm, Soos ripped over the monster by its tentacle weapon, and readied his shield. The pull was strong enough to actually lift and throw it at him. Soos practically baseball-bat swung his shield through the air, and split the monster in half at the middle with a resounding clang. The shield reverberated as the fleshy bits of the monster fell into the air and to the snow. "Score for Soos! Home run, dude!"

"It's... still moving," Mabel pointed out, as the lower half, which had slid next to her, twitched and continued to try to recover to a 'proper' upright position. "Nope! Stay down!" she yelled and smashed down her staff onto it, almost cleaving the remaining lower half into two.

"Where's the upper half?" Dipperthur called around, and was pointed past him by the Red Phantom. There, the upper half was pulling itself through the snow.

"Reg," Ebon muttered. The skeleton nodded, stepped up to the remains of the horror, and slashed into it again and again, splattering his own bones with the remains of the twisted body. "Good job, buddy," the necromancer told the skeleton as it returned, wiping off the blood and gore from his sword on the snow.

"So... what the heck was that?" Kayla rounded on Ebon, who gulped and looked around.

"Huh?"

"Unless there's a new definition for that type of horror," she yelled at the human spell-caster, "that was undead! Necromancer comes walking around these parts, into my tavern, and then undead show up!"

"I told you-"

"Ebon said that he was here to help clear up this sort of thing," Soos stepped in, pushing himself between Kayla and Ebon. "I believe him. He's not the evil person you may think he is." While the tavern said nothing, she glared at the skinny man and crossed her arms tightly.

"Now, to answer your question," Ebon started, clearing his throat, "I don't know. That was something that... well, if I had to guess, another, more adept Necromancer had to make. Or..."

"Or?" Mabel asked, coming up behind him, placing a hand on his shoulders.

"Or something worse," the necromancer told them.

If hadn't been cold out, they might have all shivered at the idea of something worse than necromancy out there in the wilderness. However, they were all already shivering. The Red Phantom looked around, and pointed.

"I can see a shack in the distance. I don't think we'll be able to make it to town, but that may be a good place to rest for a bit," she declared.

"Lead on, good lady," Mabel patted the red-head's back.

The enchanter, the druid, the ranger, the necromancer, the paladin, the bartender, and the skeleton all stomped ahead, wary, tired, and worn from the day's activities.

* * *

><p>"And that's all for today," Grunkle Stan told them, pushing himself up from his seat quickly.<p>

"Aw, what?!" Dipper groaned, "really?"

"Really," Stan nodded," you guys just went through a lot there. Escaped the tavern, fought the aberration-"

"That's what it's called," Mabel nodded and looked around, "an abber-ay-shun. Neato!"

"At least we now know what to call-" Soos started.

"Keep your personal knowledge and your in-game knowledge separate!" Dipper scolded Soos, who shrunk into his seat at the accusation. Wendy scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Dipper, dude," she started as she stretched her hands above her head, "you gotta chill man. It's just a game."

"I, I know that," Dipper told her as he dropped his head to the table, poking at his figurine, "I... I don't know. This is my game, you know?"

"I was under the impression that Mister Pines had procured this edition of Strongholds and Serpents," Yuki spoke as he looked around them, "was I mistaken?"

"Mabel, can you please take Yuki on another 'English for normal people' lesson?" Stan grumbled as he walked around the table, collected dice and pieces of the game, "his language skills kind of make me want to bury my head through a television."

"I- I meant no offense-" Yuki quickly began to apologize.

"He's just teasing you," Mabel patted his arm, "c'mon! I'll show you some more slang stuff!" she said as she walked out of the room, Yuki in close pursuit.

"Well, I'm just glad my shield-slamming skills are proficient enough to beat up undead stuff. Cool game guys," Soos nodded Wendy and Soos as he stood up.

"Yeah. Dang... I missed!" Wendy shook her head and looked to the ceiling, still smiling but frustrated, "how did I miss?" she left Dipper to his thoughts, poking his piece as Stan snatched it up from the table.

"C'mon Dipper, go mess with Yuki or something," Stan told him as Dipper grumbled and clamored out of the room. "Hah. Kids," he added as he was left alone, "just like me and... just funny."

* * *

><p>And the long awaited chapter two has come. Hope it lived up to expectations and... stuff.<p>

Undead are scary! Which is why necromancers are cool. And I can't believe Reginald already has a popularity. GO SKELETON FRIEND! WOOHOO!

So, in case someone is thinking it, NO. This is not a campaign where the freakin' necromorphs from Dead Space are the villains. It's just a design of undead a friend had, so I used it. Again, shout outs to my friend/DM Sam!

And that's it! Remember, updates for RtGF every sunday, and if you're into more action/adventure, check out my Hellsing/Resident Evil crossover series. It's mostly cool. :)

(A pile of corpses fall onto EZB, engage in 'rapid noms', and then quickly run away, leaving a skeleton in EZB's seat. It looks around, feels the new form of being a skeleton, and waves goodbye.)


End file.
